Mad Musk and the Tesla Cyborg’s Cybertruck

It’s only fitting that on the same night as a meteor shower happens on earth that Musk brings out his first electric truck. Shown at Musk’s SpaceX plant in Hawthorne, CA Musk should have invited the SpaceX crowd instead of the automotive media. The event could have been staged with Tina Turner, aka Aunty Entity, from Mad Max and Harrison Ford, aka Deckard, from Bladerunner with the tag line, Earth to Mars.

Instead, Musk incorporated all his fantasies in a Welcome to Thunderdome, Mars edition. Elon, Tina Turner called, the Queen wants her Thunderdome truck back. Deckard says you can keep it.

For those of you who can’t afford to go to Mars with Elon, he’s allowing you to buy the first truck he plans to build on Mars. Why else would he name the “pickup” Cybertruck? If you understand Musk’s following, you know that this is a futuristic truck that he plans to take to Mars, and this vehicle is part of the transition process. The stealth machine that will be able to relay messages back to your mere earthlings from the pointed part of the vehicle.

Who will buy the vehicle?

Okay, maybe I’ve been watching too much science fiction or mad max, but trust me, so have a lot of other people. The market for this vehicle will range from earthlings who are ready to transition to another life form to survivalists preppers that will be able to help Musk fix that little shattering glass problem.

As crazy as this design is, there are people that will buy it because they believe in what Musk is doing for the earth and for their future plans to go to Mars. They will have no problem plunking down $39,900 in 2021. It gives them plenty of time to finish their armored flame-throwing outfit that matches the vehicle.

To matter or to antimatter

The Cyborg’s cybertruck is an all-electric vehicle on Earth, and probably repulsive gravity on Mars. The pickup is the sixth vehicle designed by Tesla, the first one designed since California legalized marijuana. If you think that Musk designed this thinking his competitors were Ford or Chevy than you too have been bogarting that joint, my friend. The closest car this comes to is the Pontiac Aztek, a now-defunct vehicle that still has a fan club.

This car reminds me of the cult-classic following of people who would dress in costume and go watch the Rocky Horror picture show at midnight. The most anticipated scene was when Dr. Frank-N-Furter proposes a toast at dinner and the entire audience throws toast at the screen. In that vein, the Cybertruck will be a success.

Pricing and Models

Single Motor – rear-wheel-drive – 250-mile driving range $39,900
Dual Motor – all-wheel-drive 300-mile driving range $49,900
Tri-Motor – all-wheel-drive 500-mile driving range $69,900 (2022 model year)
optional self-driving package $7,000

$100 down to order now, fully refundable.

SPECS

Single Motor – RWD
Dual Motor – AWD
Tri-Motor – AWD
0-60 MPH <6.5 SECONDS
RANGE – 250+ MILES
DRIVE TRAIN – REAR-WHEEL DRIVE
STORAGE – 100 FT3
VAULT LENGTH – 6.5 FT
TOWING CAPACITY – 7,500+ LBS
AUTOPILOT – STANDARD
ADAPTIVE AIR SUSPENSION- STANDARD
GROUND CLEARANCE – UP TO 16”
APPROACH ANGLE – 35 DEGREES
DEPARTURE ANGLE – 28 DEGREES

*Specs are displayed in US values.

The information below is from tesla.com/cybertruck website:

EXOSKELETON

Cybertruck is built with an exterior shell made for ultimate durability and passenger protection. Every component starts with a nearly impenetrable exoskeleton that is designed for superior strength and endurance. It goes from the Ultra-Hard 30X Cold-Rolled stainless-steel structural skin to Tesla armored glass.

ULTRA-HARD 30X COLD-ROLLED STAINLESS STEEL

If there were something better, we’d use it. Help eliminate dents, damage, and long-term corrosion with a smooth monochrome exoskeleton that puts the shell on the outside of the car and provides you and your passenger’s maximum protection.

TESLA ARMOR GLASS

Ultra-strong glass and polymer-layered composite can absorb and redirect impact force for improved performance and damage tolerance.

VERSATILE UTILITY

With up to 3,500 pounds of payload capacity and adjustable air suspension, Cybertruck is the most powerful tool we have ever built, engineered with 100 cubic feet of the exterior, lockable storage — including a magic tonneau cover that is strong enough to stand on.

VAULT-LIKE STORAGE

Space for your toolbox, tire, and Cyberquad, with room to spare. Utilize 100 cubic feet of the exterior, lockable storage — including the under-bed, frunk, and sail pillars.

RUGGED STRENGTH

With the ability to pull near-infinite mass and a towing capability of over 14,000 pounds, Cybertruck can perform in almost any extreme situation with ease.

FLEXIBLE INTERIOR

Seat six comfortably with additional storage under the second-row seats. Complete with an advanced 17-inch touchscreen with an all-new customized user interface.

ADAPTIVE AIR SUSPENSION

Raise and lower suspension four inches in either direction for easy access to Cybertruck or the vault, while self-leveling capabilities adapt to any occasion and assist with every job.

PERFORMANCE AND EFFICIENCY

Now entering a new class of strength, speed, and versatility—only possible with an all-electric design. The powerful drivetrain and low center of gravity provide extraordinary traction control and torque—enabling acceleration from 0-60 mph in as little as 2.9 seconds and up to 500 miles of range.