I received two emails today, one from BMW saying they had a new campaign at their BMW performance driving school in Spartanburg, South Carolina and one from the the Associated Press that said that on Tuesday the Vatican issued a set of “Ten Commandments” for drivers, telling motorists not to kill, not to drink and drive, and to help fellow travelers in case of accidents.
BMW of North America is launching a “Relearn to Drive,” for the BMW Performance Driving School in Spartanburg, South Carolina. The campaign, poses the question, “Who taught you to drive?” which is centered on the idea that much of what drivers originally learned was incorrect or no longer applies.
Or you can just say your hail Marys and follow the new ten commandments of driving set forth by the Vatican, who thinks that “cars can be an occasion of sin.”
Road rage wasn’t part of life back in the days of Mary and Joseph, but itinerant people are becoming more commonplace, traveling up to two hours each way to work and back home again.
So what are the ten commandments and what is the difference in thoughts between church and state? State being me, of course.
Church: You shall not kill.
State: um, no offense, Pope, but I think that is one of the ten commandments and a written law.
Church: The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
State: If as Cardinal Renato Martino mentioned in his address that “1.2 million people die annually, globally” I think they already think cars are a “means of communion.”
Church: Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
State: and be with you all the days of your life.
Church: Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
State: it’s easier to be a good Samaritan when you’re not in a hit and run.
Church: Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
State: So, even the Vatican heard about the quite rich, quite well-known man that got caught in “illicit behavior” in a Porsche?
Church: Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
State: and when all else fails, bribery still works.
Church: Support the families of accident victims.
State: Okay Pope, thats a gimme
Church: Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
State: and when visiting them on Sundays, don’t forget to bring the Bible to jail with you.
Church: On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
State: there is no partying allowed on the road
Church: Feel responsible toward others.
State: Honest Injun, that was the sign of a cross I just gestured.
So, whether you’re listening to the Pope or taking a class at the BMW driving center, we can all remember Hill Street Blues caution, “just be careful out there, folks.”